Well then maybe try to have some empathy for someone you donât understand. Itâs so interesting to me that youâre looking for sympathy here yet every comment you make is acidic.
Being called Naomi but not wanting to be seen as a boy or a girl but preferring to be seen as a boy but being called Naomi? No, itâs all quite straightforward
Okay? But you had no problem explaining it clearly? So obviously youâre just being difficult intentionally just to spite anyone whoâs âotherâ than you
So? Yet you wouldnât struggle with it because you understand it. Itâs not simple or easy, but youâre already capable of doing it but deliberately choose not to because you set up a mental barrier saying âitâs not my kind of normal so I wonât do itâ
Your deliberate incapability of respecting other people solely because you find it offensive to your one sided worldview. You make it sound like I have no reason to not respect your disrespect
Oooh now we are calling people gay because they dont agree with us, what a big boy you are.
You are being intentionally obtuse because a person who appears a female, with a name the is predominantly used in western cultures by women, wants to be referred to as nothing but actually wants to be a dude. And your expectation is that society just remembers all that shit. You are being deliberately obtuse because you are ignoring the many paradoxes of this individual and placing the burden on others to work around it. And with that I big your childish antics farewell.
Neither of those scenarios really seem cumbersome. "Dad, this is Naomi. They are nonbinary. If you get confused or mixed up, using 'he' is preferred over 'she' in this case."
Being called Naomi = Maybe they have not changed their name yet or do not plan on changing it at all. Do you get confused when someone goes by their middle name or by Bill if their name is William?
Not wanting to be seen as a boy or a girl but preferring to be seen as a boy = they're nonbinary but maybe lean towards masculine and/or this was an easier way to explain it to this person's dad? For example, I have a friend who identified as nonbinary but kept their feminine name for quite some time before changing it despite presenting as pretty masculine. Later on, that same friend realized he was a trans man. That doesn't have to be the same case with Naomi of course, just giving an example of what their reasoning may be.
Sometimes it's best to faithfully ask yourself, "I wonder why they might prefer this/do that/feel this way?" You're not always gonna get it 100% right every time but it's a whole lot nicer than what you're doing right now.
I couldnât begin to understand what makes people go non-binary to the extent that some do. If you can explain it Iâll listen though. Seems to me like itâs a bit much.
People don't 'go' nonbinary. They just figure themselves out. Maybe someone has always felt like they don't really fit with what most societies designate as either male or female, but doesn't have the vocabulary to describe that concept until later in life. Maybe someone has, for one reason or another, difficulty with acknowledging it about themselves (trauma, religion, etc). Some people figure it out early in life and some people are in their 60's when it clicks.
Look, I'm not nonbinary so I'm not going to pretend like I can give you a flawless POV. Just because I can relay how some of my friends explained their experiences doesn't mean that it fits the experience of all others. All you really have to do is be kind and listen to what nonbinary people are telling you. You don't have to completely understand the concept in order to offer a person some respect and consideration.
I appreciate the well written and kind hearted comment but it doesnât change the way I feel about it. Being non-binary/androgynous is fine, likely even commendable, I just donât know why it has to become a thing others need to tiptoe around or have their language policed over. To me being non-binary just isnât that deep and is excessive in the way itâs enacted. I know we wonât agree on this but thatâs the way I feel.
Nobody is asking you to tiptoe or policing your language. Asking for simple courtesy is not policing your language. That's very uncharitable take.
What people are asking is that when they say "Call me ____." that you just do that. 99% of people will not berate you for making a mistake if you just say "My bad!" and remember to call them correctly.
The one thing you got right is that respecting what someone asks you to call them by isn't that deep.
Sort of is if their arrival has to be precluded by information on what they should be called and how they are to be perceived.
It used to be that a lot of people were just androgynous, tomboys, etc. There wasnât this obsession with pathologising, labelling and politicising it.
what if i said something innate about your identity is ânot that deepâ? for example, if you said âhi, iâm a [man/woman]â and i said âugh, this is so excessive. i think you look like this, or sound like this, so i should be allowed to call you whatever i personally think you are.â imagine if people suddenly started calling you by a different name or a different set of pronouns, and when you said âwhy are you doing that?â they said âi shouldnât have to tiptoe around you! youâre obviously this because thatâs what i think, donât police my language!â
trans = Identifying with a gender that does not align with the sex you were assigned at birth.
binary (In the context of gender) = male/female
nonbinary = Identifying with anything (and get this) NOT binary.
therefore, Identifying as nonbinary means Identifying with a gender that ISNT male/female. which would mean you are trans. all nonbinary people are trans. not all trans people are nonbinary.
non-binary people are trans. trans people are people who donât identify with the gender they were assigned at birth, which non-binary people donât.
Although you might think of trans identities as either trans men or trans women, non binary identities are most often included under the trans umbrella (Not gonna bother with sources, seeing as you ignored the first one already).
In any case, if you had bothered to actually read the article instead of trying and failing to attack me on a technicality, it would become quite evident that it's not a "modern problem" as you claimed in your original comment.
Having the expectation that everyone should bend and conform to your weird and conflicted views about your internal struggle with genser identity is textbook narcissism
For that to be the case here is you assuming Naomi is telling the friend to tell their dad. The friend is being considerate of Naomi and explaining it to their dad beforehand to avoid discomfort, for you to direct anything at Naomi makes zero sense.
It's also not weird or conflicting to be non binary but prefer to be mistaken as one gender over the other. What you're saying doesn't make an ounce of sense
And for you to be acting like it's so confusing and cumbersome when we can already see it clearly explained it a single text makes you look stupid.
Says the narcissist who doesn't care about what others prefer to be identified as.
You're such a clown. Ya know it takes zero energy to keep your mouth shut and not show the world how hateful and pitiful you are.
(It's sad to see you spend your time making multiple posts to tear this post down. Did it trigger you? No love from your dad? Or do you have no love for others, so you have to attack others joy? Sorry your suffering - get some help. It's crazy out there with all the fascist racist hateful people... Don't add to it.)
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u/_Jimmy2times 2d ago
God this is so cumbersome