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u/Hammered_Eel 1d ago
Calling everyone Mate is perfect for this type of situation
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u/OwlRevolutionary7115 1d ago
My mate always pulls me up on calling people mate when a gender isn’t certain. I don’t see the problem.
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u/SlightedMarmoset 1d ago
Unless you're in Australia. Mate can have so many different meanings depending on situation and tone of voice.
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u/Hammered_Eel 1d ago
Absolutely. I’ve had people address me as “Mate” and knew I was in a world of trouble.
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u/SlightedMarmoset 1d ago
My personal favourite is the slow 'maate' partnered with the slight headshake, which we all know means 'you have fucked up bigtime, there are going to be serious ramifications here, but you're still my people, we're good even if the situation isn't'
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u/dgvsbvsvs 1d ago
Can't go wrong with a classic 'Hey buddy'
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u/greenrangerguy 1d ago
Pass hey buddy the gravy.
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u/Candid-String-6530 1d ago
Pass "our buddy here" the gravy.
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u/mexus37 1d ago
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u/Yingvi 1d ago
"Hey buddy, pass the gravy" sounds pretty normal
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u/NoxarBoi 1d ago
They were saying “pass [hey buddy] the gravy”. As in telling someone else to pass the gravy to “hey buddy”.
They’re substituting “her/him/them” with “hey buddy”.
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u/HuckleberryOdd7745 1d ago
so just hey buddy can you pass hey buddy some gravy buddy
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u/MensaMan1 1d ago
I’m an Australian- everyone here gets “mate”.
Handy also if you forget someone’s name.
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u/Unstabler69 1d ago
You get a handy if you forget someone's name? I'm headin down under for the uhhh culture
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u/FroggiJoy87 1d ago
This and 'my dude' are my go-to gender neutral greetings.
Cause 🎵🎶I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes, hey! 🎶🎵
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u/gamedude88 1d ago
“Welcome to the Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?”
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u/outlawsix 1d ago
In this day "bro" is pretty much a gender neutral term. I call my wife bro
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u/LakeStLouis 1d ago
I call the neighborhood raccoons bros. Is your wife one of my neighborhood raccoons?
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u/DocEternal 1d ago
Likely three of them in a trench coat.
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u/LakeStLouis 1d ago
I'm good with three wifes in a trenchcoat. I ain't paying support payments for them though.
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u/BluebirdSpecialist76 1d ago
My wife and I call each other dude and bro all the time lol
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u/grahamulax 1d ago
My niece calls me bro. I know all the lingo though so I’m like yeeee. Tho she calls her dad bro sometimes lol.
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u/shahi001 1d ago
people get really, really butthurt over the insinuation that 'dude' is neutral, though. i've been called extremely vitriolic things for using a casual 'sup dude' to someone in passing
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u/cbear013 1d ago
I mean, they're right though. "Dudes" is pretty good as a gender neutral term for a mixed group, but it really doesn't work in the singular unless you know the person well and have built up the rapport.
Like if I'm telling a story and I say, "...and then some dude came out of nowhere and ran right into me!" exactly 0 people are imagining that "dude" to be a woman. I understand why it would bother people who's identity is "not a guy."
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u/Reostat 1d ago
It's a weird term. "Hey dude" can be said to anyone, because being a dude is inclusive of all genders. "A dude walked up to me" implies a man. "Later guys" is the default for a group of people regardless of gender and I'd say it to a full group of women too. I would find "hey buddy" to be slightly male-leaning whereas "hey buddies" totally gender neutral, and I can't really express why.
I think the 1900s really fucked with it, because I find saying "gals" or "ladies" to be very situational without sounding like someone who uses the word "females"...
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u/mortalitylost 1d ago
It really isnt always neutral, no matter how often you use it that way. And usually it's very masculine when it's used to refer to trans women.
"He fucked a dude/guy" always sounds gay no matter how you spin it. And when someone thinks a girl is hot, and someone says "that's a dude", it always means that it's a transwoman who didn't pass.
So I think it's understandable some trans people don't like being called dude, when it's often used like "lol that's a dude"
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u/Chxn- 1d ago
The only time I regret using dude as a universal term is when I say “hey dude” to a transwoman. Ugh. Or when I said bye to a bunch of women including a transwoman and say “Thanks guys see you later” ugh regretti spaghetti.
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u/Pupenby621 1d ago
I mean theres a difference between a casual "sup dude", to people clearly inserting dude and guy and bro as often into a sentence as possible when they find out you're trans. Like I don't live in cali and they are not a surfer, it's obvious what they're doing yknow?
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u/Induane 1d ago
I also really love how gender neutral y'all is.
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u/True_Inside_9539 1d ago
Y’all/ y’em
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u/Induane 1d ago
Don't even need the y'em! Y'all covers it all!
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u/An_Awesome_Bitch2002 1d ago
I fear now that I’ve seen it, Y’em IS necessary 😭😂 I just laughed so heard reading “Y’all/Y’em”
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u/Occidentally20 1d ago
If Naomi comes back with "I'm not your buddy, friend" then they're a keeper.
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u/TheDarkDoctor17 1d ago
Idk. If you say it too enthusiasticly, you might gett the sudden urge to ask them what they manufactured during WWII and if they are associated with any Tea related Cults.
(If you don't know...heyyyyyy buuuuuddy )
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u/irate_alien 1d ago
If they come back with “I’m not your buddy pal!” dad and Naomi are friends for life
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u/BigONotationRotation 1d ago
"I'm not your pal, guy"
they did say they would prefer to be called a boy than a girl if he fucked up
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u/YouSad7687 1d ago
“I’m not your pal, friend”
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u/Pizzacato567 1d ago
I’m not your friend, guy!
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u/razorbladethorax 1d ago
HEEEEEEYYY REEELAAAAAAXXX GUUUYYYYY ...
My bad, sorry.
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u/dogpassword 1d ago
Don’t tell me to relax, buddy
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u/shadow_black1809 1d ago
I think it's interesting that in the actual episode they never say the word pal during that scene. I wonder how this caught on
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u/emosn0tdead 1d ago
I'll be honest, I call everyone "Big Dog" so I never have to deal with this.
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u/OwlRevolutionary7115 1d ago
Can we hear this in a number of scenarios please?
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u/beforeyoureply 1d ago
‘Can I just call them hey buddy’
😭😭😭 what a Dad
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u/SymondHDR 1d ago
"nahh "punchline" is crazy"
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u/decoysnails 1d ago
you forgot to put another quotation marks so you had them between every word
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u/PickleMundane6514 1d ago edited 1d ago
Very sweet. Reminded me how my friend came out as trans in the 90s as a teenager back when that was unheard of. His mom was trying to navigate a challenging conversation with grandpa trying to explain how my friend felt. During this mom used female pronouns just to make grandpa comfortable while she was breaking the news and Grandpa interrupted, “You keep saying she, I don’t think he would be comfortable being called that”.
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u/Xaphhire 1d ago
That's so wholesome. Reminds me of a friend who came out as trans to her grandfather. His response? I've always wanted a granddaughter.
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u/MarcytheGoblinQueen 1d ago
That is the perfect gender neutral way to refer to someone in a friendly way
Source: growing up, and visiting family, I've been called buddy more often than my name
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u/PhantomPharts 1d ago
I call people buddy if I really love em, so I have to assume you're heckin' loved!
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u/MarcytheGoblinQueen 1d ago
Considering my favorite uncle was the one that mostly called me Buddy, yeah
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u/throwraglassglass 1d ago
In Canada calling someone buddy can easily get me in a fight. It’s seen as condescending.
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u/johnnylemon95 1d ago
I guess that similar to calling someone champ or champion here in Australia. Definitely fighting words.
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u/Leading_Income_9744 1d ago
In Glasgow Scotland being called pal means you’re about to get head butted. Being called c*nt means you’re friends.
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u/AppropriateScience71 1d ago
lol - that sounds like my son’s fraternity. They save the truly vile insults for their closest friends.
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u/Anon4transparency 1d ago
Lol what now? I'm very Canadian & I don’t relate to this at all. Hey buddy is a VERY common greeting.
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u/The_Follower1 1d ago
Probably more of a newfie thing I’d guess. I live on the west coast and buddy’s not used condescendingly here either. We usually use bud rather than buddy though.
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u/Corporal_Canada 1d ago
Yeah, East Coast, buddy is definitely more passive aggresive, and West Coast buddy is much more friendly
Now if you think that's a wild difference, wait till you see the difference in meaning that "goof" takes between West Coast and the Maritimes
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u/stilljustacatinacage 1d ago
I'm from New Brunswick. "Buddy" is not an insult, but it's not friendly either. It's, "hey, we're about to have a tiff and I need to get your attention". Could be anything from you're blocking the sidewalk to "you've had one too many and it's time for you to leave".
Based just on what I've read, it might be similar to calling someone "guy" in New York?
"Bud" can go either way. Can be used the same as above but generally for very minor offences, or attached to affirmatives / negatives, where it's almost always positive, "yea bud" (sincere or sarcastic), "nah bud" (rare).
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u/axonxorz 1d ago
Family: great
Acquaintances: probably okay?
Strangers: uh oh
Calling a stranger "bud": it's time
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u/Extension_Oil1679 1d ago
Fuck yeah, if I’m not sure, you a dude. I’m from the Pacific Northwest and everyone is dude, he she they them other- dude. Keeps it simple and when I get super excited it’s the first thing you’ll hear out of me.
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u/KidneyIssues247 1d ago
I’m a dude. He’s a dude. She’s a dude. We’re all dudes!
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u/MrMetraGnome 1d ago
Ah, memories. I wish I could go back. What is Kel up to these days anyway?
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u/Xylus1985 1d ago
Then what is a dudette?
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u/Character-Town7929 1d ago
Dude is gender neutral. Dudebro is male. Dudette is female
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u/Unsd 1d ago
Everyone swears dude is gender neutral until you ask "so how many dudes have you fucked?"
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u/ReluctantNerd7 1d ago edited 1d ago
Had someone use that retort with my friend, to which he responded "I call my wife 'dude'".
They have three kids, so they've probably fucked at least one 'dude'.
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u/potatisblask 1d ago
"Friend" is also gender neutral but becomes weird when asking how many friends you're fucking.
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u/Forged-Signatures 1d ago
It's because dudes is a collective noun with both collective (mixed sex) and collective (masculine) definitions. Both are the same word in English because we infer from context rather than conjugating to clarify. It's been a while since I studied, but in several European languages, but I believe it's fairly typical for a collective (mixed sex) to modify verbs in the same way that collective (male) does.
'Dude' has just the English equivalent of the French 'il', with it floating between meaning he, they (plural, masculine), and they (plural, masculine and feminine).
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u/ninja_mummy 1d ago
Im from the midwest and dude is my go to as well
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u/TrixieBastard 1d ago
Same, but I think it also depends on your age around here. I don't hhear many Gen Z or Alpha saying "dude" in my part of the Midwest, but plenty of Xennials, Millennials, and Gen X still do
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u/Vivid_Departure_3738 1d ago
Oh my god I just realised Pacifica Northwest's name in Gravity Falls
I knew the Northwest part but not Pacific
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u/DobbyFreeElf35 1d ago
Same here. From the Bay Area myself, everyone is dude. My granny hated it, even she was dude to me.
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u/ClothesDesigner2793 1d ago
Dads have a special talent for finding the simplest solution to things we overthink. Hey buddy is top tier diplomacy
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u/topchief1 1d ago
I'm not your buddy, friend.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 1d ago
You are just going to end up being called dude. My memory is shot so everyone is just dude.
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u/Seligas 1d ago
I stand by dude as a gender-neutral term, per the declaration of the great bard, Kel Mitchel:
I'm a dude,
he's a dude,
she's a dude,
we're all dudes,
hey.
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u/Such-Honeydew-1233 1d ago
I don't think that I will get much support but.. This is very funny, coming from a country where everything is gendered. Every object, color, everything has a gender. But nothing has two ;)
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u/Fit_Storage_1277 1d ago
Dad said “I respect everyone equally, but I will absolutely call them buddy.” 🤝😂
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u/idiot-prodigy 1d ago
Meanwhile my 3 straight nieces are calling each other "bruh" while playing Roblox together.
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u/spookaddress 1d ago
When I can't remember a name, I just call that person captain. Hey Captain can you pass the salt.
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u/UnrealisticRealis-m 1d ago
In my opinion “dude” is the universal way to call anyone
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u/pempoczky 1d ago
This is such a wholesome post, I knew I shouldn't have looked into the comments bc there would be a bunch of people ruining it. It's sad
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u/DubiousGames 1d ago
Genuinely curious, how can a person expect to go through life being addressed by the right pronouns, if every time you meet someone it requires another person to first explain what your pronouns are to them. None of this is feasible or realistic.
If you’re obviously female then people are going to use female pronouns. The entire English language breaks down if we no longer are able to use pronouns to address people.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
tbh I don’t understand the point of identifying as nb, how can you identify outside of the binary if people are going to perceive you as male/female anyway? I understand trans men/women because they want to be perceived as the sex they weren’t assigned at birth but like, whats the difference between just not conforming to gender roles and being nb?? I have nb friends tho and I still refer to them as the correct pronouns because I want to be polite but I still don’t get the point because they have very gendered names
(I don’t mean to be disrespectful I just don’t understand)
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u/DubiousGames 1d ago
It’s normal to not understand, because none of it makes sense.
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u/side_noted 1d ago
People tend to put in effort and present they way they want to be addressed.
Also no one cares about strangers, you just correct them if they use the wrong pronoun, like youd correct someone if they used the wrong name for you. Accodomations are asked for from people you regularly interact with, similar to how if you know someone youd expect them to know your name.
And the the english language doesnt care its mostly gender neutral anyhow, imagine you found an umbrella somewhere? Who does the umbrella belong to? Do you know them? oh look gender neutral pronoun because we dont know the persons gender, how unnatural.
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u/erroneousbosh 1d ago
> oh look gender neutral pronoun because we dont know the persons gender, how unnatural.
Also "singular they".
"The electrician is coming by later to look at that light"
"Oh, can you ask them about the shower too when they are here?"
Singular them, singular they. There's one electrician, and you don't know their gender. Also, except in certain poorly-regarded branches of cinema, you mostly don't care.
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u/Fair-Case146 1d ago edited 1d ago
Honestly, that greeting felt like a hug in words simple, perfect, and straight to the heart.
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u/Ok-Shock-7732 1d ago
If Naomi doesn’t want people to think they’re a girl, they might want to change their name.
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u/No-Chemistry-4355 1d ago
That wouldn't really change anything. I have non-binary friends with masculine names who get misgendered as if they were girls all the time.
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u/Groundbreaking_Can81 1d ago
All this is so dumb
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u/UnfortunatelySimple 1d ago
Some people are just a chore, isn't there better things to worry about?
The sooner you realise it's how you think about yourself that's important, and you should worry less about what others think about you.
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u/LauraTFem 1d ago
“Sport” is my favorite go-to for someone younger than me and transmasc.
They seem to like it, but more important than that, it embarrasses them, which is a win.
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u/Felix_Dei 1d ago
Ah, yes. Naomi, but non-binary, but prefers mistakenly called a boy over a girl.
Sounds like a healthy grounded individual to me.
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u/freefallfromhell 1d ago
The dad doesn't say Naomi is not welcome. People looking for reasons to be mad at this point.
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u/_BannedAcctSpeedrun_ 1d ago
Why would being called a boy be better? Non binary but with a masculine slant?
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u/Cheap-Rate-8996 1d ago
"Non-binary" is a meaningless label. At best it means "gender non-conforming".
People can identify however they want, it's not really my business. I'm not going to stop anyone from doing it. But I fail to see the point, frankly.
Being transgender (FTM or MTF) makes sense to me, because "male" and "female" are definable categories. But "non-binary" is just inventing an unnecessary third category for no real reason. You don't have to disassociate from your birth sex just because you want to present slightly differently from conventional gender roles.
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u/DeformedPinky 1d ago
Accidentally calling someone something they dont identify as is just a headache. I understand people have what they think they are, but getting upset when someone doesn't automatically know is just bananas. Also, I identify as bananas now. So I better be called bunch or I am gonna be really mad
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u/JadedMuse 1d ago
People tend not to get upset when others don't "automatically know". They get upset when someone knows but still chooses to ignore it.
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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 1d ago
Except nobody does that. Every gender queer person I know including myself, and it’s many, just cares if someone makes a sincere effort and isn’t a dick about pronouns
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u/fckheadinspo 1d ago
True. Some, like me, don't care about pronouns at all. Hate when people can't see how nuanced of a thing this is. Like we're not all one giant they/them blob... Like that episode of fairy odd parents. Lol.
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u/shadowmonk13 1d ago
Everyone knows the proper gender neutral term is Dude. I’m a dude, she’s a dude, that dogs a dude, that lesbian couple of there there are dudes, we are all just dudes living life man!
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u/Juicecalculator 1d ago
I’m him at this point. I’m all for inclusivity, but it’s exhausting trying to keep up with this stuff. I have bigger problems to worry about. Tell me what to say and I will do my best.
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